“You shouldn’t freak out.”
That’s what my friend’s father-in-law told her when she decided to quit her job and open her own business.
You shouldn’t freak out? Well, that sucks, because guess what my friend was doing? Freaking out.
Not externally – internally. That’s where we all freak out. Deep down inside.
Here’s the truth about this situation….she SHOULD be freaking out!!!
I don’t mean she should go crazy and make rash decisions. I mean that it’s normal to feel a bit nervous and insecure. She is quitting her job. She is doing something new. She is going against everything she has ever known and she is going all-in on herself. That’s some scary stuff.
Her brain is simply doing its job and turning on the hazard lights. It is sending signals to the rest of her body to let her know that the path ahead is unpaved.
Now my friend believes there is something wrong with her. If she isn’t supposed to freak out – but she is – she must not be cut out for this new venture. Instantly, she starts thinking she is not capable of running her own business.
The reality is that she is headed in a direction that isn’t clear. That doesn’t mean it won’t get clear.
She has work to do and it won’t always be easy. But that doesn’t mean she can’t do the work.
She will make mistakes and she will have self-doubt. Guess what? She will figure it out and get the confidence she needs to keep her heading in the right direction. She must work through the freakout.
Write this down:
“If you feel like puking, it’s a good sign. You’re almost there. Keep going.”
This is what I learned when I was pregnant with my first child.
My husband and I took classes on natural childbirth. Yep – I’m crazy like that. Honestly, it was the best class I have ever taken. I learned so much about myself, my baby, and what to expect during the whole process – even if it doesn’t go the way you planned. Much like life.
When the instructor started talking about the birth process, she took a deep breath, a big pause, and introduced the phase called “Transition”. This is the most intense part of the childbirth experience. One would think that actually pushing the child out would be the most painful part. While it is brutal as hell, it ain’t got nothing on transition.
In childbirth, the Transition phase is best known for its emotional challenges. This is where women become panicked and scared because they have never experienced anything like it. They have endured endless hours of discomfort, but this short phase is what takes them over the edge. They begin to say “I can’t do this” or “I change my mind – I need something for the pain.”
Here it is – I am going to compare the Transition phase with my friend’s new life change. (I know she would love that I am doing this. Haha!) Stick with me.
My friend’s life has been changing for the past year. She found her forever partner, she started a side gig, and she learned how to start a business from the ground up. As a safety net, she has kept her full-time job while she is learning and growing. All of this is similar to the beginning stages of labor. It’s uncomfortable at times, but it’s manageable.
She finally arrives at the Transition phase. She quit her job, she has a new identity, she is public. It’s showtime! This is the biggest change and the most pressure she will feel during the entire process. This is where she starts to become afraid and panicked. She wants something for the pain and she starts to think she can’t do it.
Good news! She feels like puking. This is a good sign. It means she’s almost there. Keep going.
For a lot of entrepreneurs, this does take them over the edge. They aren’t prepared for the emotional roller coaster that is ahead and they throw in the towel. All because someone said, “you shouldn’t freak out”.
I am so glad that my instructor warned me about the Transition phase. Knowing that there would be pain ahead, possibly some puking and that it would be scary, gave me a sense of security when it happened. If she hadn’t have warned me or told me that I shouldn’t freak out, I would have thought “I can’t do this” or asked for something to take away the pain. I wouldn’t have made it to my goal.
If you are making changes in your life, trying something new, chasing a goal – keep this in your mind. It is going to be scary. You are going to be afraid. You are going to freak out inside. And that’s okay. Lean into it.
There is nothing wrong with freaking out inside. Or Puking. Or crying. Or being afraid. It’s part of the journey and it’s part of your life Transition.
Keep going! You’re almost there.
Good things ahead, my friend!
Ready. SET. Go.
If you are interested in taking this work a step further, my SET program is exactly what you need. schedule a time for a consult call to learn more.